Yesterday’s ultrasound didn’t go anywhere close to as well as I was hoping it would. I don’t even know where to start because I’m still pretty upset. My main concern going in was whether or not the placenta had moved far enough from my cervix to allow me to have a vaginal birth. Those measurements weren’t exactly where they needed to be, and neither were some of the baby’s growth measurements.
At my last appointment, I noticed that Baby J’s head was measuring a few weeks behind her gestational age. If her other measurements had been small I wouldn’t have been concerned, but the fact that it was only her head worried me slightly. The sonographer remeasured a gazillion times and kept getting the same results. Since no one said anything or raised any concern though, I forgot about it by the next day.
Yesterday, the same thing happened again. The sonographer redid the measurments several times, and each time I could see the numbers in the bottom corner of the screen indicating that the head size was off by a few weeks. Along with that, the sonographer noticed that the area that separates the two sides of baby’s brain didn’t look right either. She decided to go grab another tech for a second opinion. As soon as the sonographer left the room, I burst into tears and used a slew of politically incorrect phrases.
The second opinion wasn’t exactly reassuring either. It was more like one of those blatant lies to get you to feel better and not worry. “I’ve seen this before and it can be normal..”
Things didn’t get much better from that point. After having me flip in all sorts of directions and inverting the table to the point where I practically had to hold on to avoid sliding off, the ultrasound tech decided that I would need a transvaginal ultrasound to get the placenta measurements. Fun.
Once again we had to call for reinforcements, because things weren’t cooperating. I wish I could blame all of this on the ultrasound tech being new or something, but she’s definitely not, because I saw her for my very first ultrasound months ago. Plus her little picture wall is full of all sorts of pictures from patients.
This time around they brought in an actual doctor, along with another tech. They were able to see that the placenta still isn’t far away enough from the cervix to allow for a vaginal birth. I have to go back in three weeks to be measured again, and that’s when they’ll decided if I need a c-section or not. I’m slightly freaking out, since I’ve never had any type of surgery or even stitches for that matter.
Needless to say, I spent the rest of the afternoon randomly bursting into tears. I wish I had some of the ultrasound photos to share, but I’ve been too upset to even look at them and I don’t know where they ended up. As it is, I was pretty terrified of giving birth for a third time. This more or less solidifies my anxiety. It doesn’t help at all that I got on Google and searched until I found the worst possible outcome.
I can only pray that things will go well between now and my delivery. Hopefully we can get some positive news at the next ultrasound. For now, I’ve been loving on my babies extra and praying that my third princess comes out at perfect as the first two.
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